Monday, August 3, 2009

Where have I been?

I apologize to whomever out there had decided to follow this blog on a semi-regular basis. I received many compliments on my posts, but I knew this day would come--or rather, the day that came a few months ago, when I began 3rd year of medical school and had to place the blog lower on my list of priorities. The problem is compounded by the fact that I did not study as hard as I could have during the first two years of medical school (as evidenced by the fact, documented on this very blog, that I was spending at least some of my time thinking about politics, when most of my classmates were spending a much greater portion of their time thinking about nothing but anatomy, physiology, pathology, and biochemistry.) So now, I feel compelled to spend some of my spare time studying to ensure that I'm prepared for my experiences on the wards.

However--and I questioned for a long time whether this blog should take a more personal turn, as many do, but I think it's inevitable--there was something else non-medical I was spending a good deal of my time over the last two years thinking about, something that, in fact, consumed me and kept me preoccupied most of the time, and that is, woman. I seldom admit this in person, but a large proportion of my motivation for pursuing medicine was my belief that, by doing something conventionally considered "prestigious", and positioning myself as a good future provider, I would become attractive to women. The slow and painful discrediting of that belief has occupied most of the time I spend thinking about non-med school-related matters over the past 8 months or so, and it commenced last fall, when I discovered the seduction community.

I had had two brief intimations of this community in years prior, which I may describe later, and it repulsed me at first. But this time, something compelled me to investigate it further, and I have now read, or viewed in one case, several seduction-related materials. I must say that my eyes have been opened to the nature of women and of male-female relations, both in traditional times and in modern society. So many of my past experiences, as well as my frustrations in finding that being a medical student got me nowhere even with conservative Christian women, suddenly make sense, now that I see them through the light of female hypergamy. It really is, as a commenter said somewhere, like finally seeing the Matrix.

Now, this is not about to become a PUA blog. Lord knows there are enough of them out there already, and I am not about to give up on Christian sexual morality in an attempt to reinvent myself as a player. However, I've decided that in our society, however unfortunate it may be, a guy has to learn some "game" just to attract a decent wife. I'm sure that now and then, when I do find time to post, the topics of dating, sexual relations, marriage, etc. will come up more often than they have.

I've also added two blogs, which discuss these matters in ways I find helpful, to my blogroll: Novaseeker and The Elusive Wapiti. There are others which I browse from time to time, which I may add when they come to mind.

6 comments:

Ferdinand Bardamu said...

"However, I've decided that in our society, however unfortunate it may be, a guy has to learn some "game" just to attract a decent wife. I'm sure that now and then, when I do find time to post, the topics of dating, sexual relations, marriage, etc. will come up more often than they have."

There aren't many Christian or conservative bloggers/writers who can opine with intellectual clarity on this topic. I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say.

Laurel Loflund said...

I read the Wikipedia article; essentially, it seems to say that women can be manipulated in predictable ways, which is highly likely (speaking as a woman). It does seem a week bit unethical, but, hey, there are books for women on how to flirt.

I'm not sure this will bring you what you want, however, love and marriage with a good Christian woman. It might get the conversation started, but after that...

Good to see you writing again.

Laurel

Hermes said...

"There aren't many Christian or conservative bloggers/writers who can opine with intellectual clarity on this topic."

Tell me about it. As you've probably noticed, the typical evangelical, conservative Catholic, or mainstream social conservative view is that only men possess the stain of original sin, while women are innocent and innately good, and can do nothing wrong unless led astray by an evil, lustful man. Check out any Christian publication which discusses dating and relationships--for example, Boundless, a webzine run by Focus on the Family--and you'll see constsant references to the idea that women want nothing more than to marry a decent guy and be wives and mothers, but men are immature and selfish and just want to play video games and watch sports and refuse to fulfil women's noble and worthy desires.

Laurel, if you're of the generation that came of age before the 1980's, you might be surprised at how much even churched women have changed. In any case, I'm taking things one step at a time; if all it does is get the conversation started, well, I'll be one step farther along than I am now.

Laurel Loflund said...

Hate to admit it, but I came of age way before the 1980s. I turned thirty that year, two years married at that point.

I'm sure women (and men) in the church have changed since that time. Some for the better (I know a number of young men and women who are much more conservative and mature than the folks of my generation), some much for the worse. I teach high school, so am pretty aware of what's going on with the younger folks, churched and unchurched.

I don't have anything against learning social skills, a.k.a. flirting, for men or women. It was the "bed in seven hours" idea that kind of grossed me out. The NLP stuff I am actually rather familiar with, having taken some workshops back in the 90s. Some of the techniques come in very useful in teaching (mirroring, to be specific).

In any event, I am happy to see you writing again. Thought we'd lost you to anatophysiogramicalotomy (had to make up that one, couldn't resist).

God bless your search for a mate.

Laurel

heritageamerican said...

Hermes - it sounds like you have the right idea. It is definitely not enough to be a "nice guy." Women are attracted to certain types of behavior that indicate dominance and confidence - although every man has to learn "game" that matches who he really is.

That said, having learned what there is from the "seduction community," I'd stay away from its people and places.

Smith/Wesson said...

It's good to see this blog back in action. I assume you've read "Sexual Utopia in Power", by Roger Devlin? The problem with the "seduction community" is the tendency to attract women for short term committments but not seal the deal for a long term prospect. But I guess it couldn't hurt to use some elements of these theories in your interactions with women. It's in our evolutionary interest as men to adapt to the perceptions and expectations that modern women have developed. This explains the explosive popularity of PUA blogs (only one I follow is "Roissy in DC"). As a fellow medical student, I wouldn't discard the belief that your career and income will attract some women. Of course, you won't be reaping those rewards for another few years.